1. Mistress Mona

A friend of mine once accused me of being too serious - so I set out to write the silliest lyrics I could. This was the result. I did indeed drive a '69 Corona for many years, but that's where the autobiographical element of this song ends!


Mistress Mona
Music and lyrics copyright 1996 by Mike Luno
verse 1:
Mistress Mona is on the phone-a
How did she know that I was home alone-a?
She can't forget me and my magic pinky
she said that next time she might not even charge me
Yes, it's Mistress Mona from Kelowna
She smells me coming in my half-dead Corona
She smiles as we meet and I'm captivated
It's ugly and reluctant but at least it's X-rated
That's just her smile - why, the rest is all Mona
She's enough to make a crying man groan-a
She's such a handful and it taught me a lesson
That Mona can't help but make a big impression
every time, every time
verse 2:
Down and under she's one hot number
Still the calmest and coolest cucumber
that's what I like best - she lets my nerves rest
while making fine grinds of my weak and willing flesh
Mona, god help you
you're the only one who understands me
'cause you get a long, hard look at what
all the nice people don't see
Mona, it's time you came over
My attic's full of games to play
and I'd love to see what you'd make of them
I'm dying to see your surprise - surprise!
(I think you're going to like this - take a look now)